Dropped Elyce off today at UNM. It’s only 45 minutes down the road, but feels many states away.
Kind of prepared myself emotionally a few weeks back (at the time I was dreading the entire time leading up to today) and felt like I was prepared for today. Not too many tears … but heart really really hurts.
Came home. Napped. Cried in the closet (it’s a walk-in so not quite like it sounds).
Went to the gym. Arms and Shoulders today. Thought I was good. Went to grocery store.
Ugh. Seeing all the little things Elyce would want or laugh about when we shopped together … heart starts to hurt again. Drive home. I’m good. Got this. But it’s quiet.
Pass by the crazy Flag Waving Trumper house driving up the hill. Ugh. Hits again (Elyce always comments on the house, laughs, impersonates a truck-driving right-wing hick – has my sense of humor).
Get home. Cry more. Sobbed. This sucks.
News for the ‘kids’ Category
Semi-Empty Nest
College Conundrum
I’ve always been self-conscious about my missing out on the ‘college experience.’ Ultimately, it may explain my drive and determination. It works, but I still think about it too much. I always tell Elyce and Gavin – take advantage of your opportunity (my paying, etcetera). Our agreed upon route has been for them to go to community college for the first two years, then transfer in to a university as a junior. There are a multitude of reasons for this – but primary, in my experience, is it’s not where you start. It’s where you finish. Your degree says the same as the graduate sitting next to you on that final day. Use that to your advantage.
This article compounds the idea [Ivy League vs Private vs Public vs No College At All].
“If someone is “resilient and smart” and works very hard, it doesn’t matter if they go to Harvard or a state school, Kang said. If anything, he added, going to a school that affords them less privilege will force them to “learn more business and people skills” earlier.”
Ski Santa Fe
Weight For It …
Teaching Gavin to drive (stressful …).
On a recent jaunt, he asked for more time (has to have 50 hours with me before he’s ready for a permit).
I asked Why The Hurry?
“I want to go to the gym, work out. I’m bored.”
I simply said – “Why the wait?”
We drove to our local gym that was just built. Signed up – both him and I.
We are now lifting. Wow – it hurts …
But so awesome to see him doing this and him inspiring me.
Dubious at Best
We continously hear from politicians and the religious right (every time there is a school shooting, the topic surfaces) of the dangers of video games on children/youth. With 2020’s news cycle, the topic has obviously been pushed out of primetime for larger, more important issues.
Of note, while there certainly is a link between tv violence and youth impact, other forms of entertainment throughout history consistently fail to prove a strong correlation to youth behavior/psychology.
- There was the music industry’s Parental Advisory hearings of the late 1980s – which still have yet to prove linkage of explicit lyrics to adolescent behavior.
- Even books/novels were considered dangerous in the 18th century as they reached prominence in entertainment.
Video Games look more and more to be joining the realm of Music and Books as a force which fails to show correlation to aggression.
Yet another study from Stetson University (as a follow-up from another 2015 study from the American Psychological Association) shows again – no substantative link. “Dubious at Best”.
Consider this quip at the end:
“Games are now more important than ever for socialization, feeling autonomy and control during an uncertain time, and just de-stressing”
Game On.
Gavin got a 100%
This may, ordinarily, seem hokey. But 2020 has been a very diffic … you know.
Both Elyce and Gavin are ‘remote learning’ due to COVID. Elyce has been good with things (it’s her senior year, and she’s pretty much taken many of her more difficult/AP classes already) and has adapted accordingly. Still was a challenge to start in August with things, but her grades have migrated towards her norm. It takes time for any student, I know.
Gavin – well, it’s his first year in high school. He’s a freshman. We warned him, leading into it, that high school would be different. Middle school and Elementary were a breeze for him – ALWAYS straight As. Remote learning, high school … it’s been hard. It’s hard as a parent to constantly ‘nag’ and follow-up every day with class times, schedules, etc. These guys are on conference calls about 1-2 hours a day … the rest is ‘self-directed’. It must be tough … I get it.
As a result, he has struggled. Any 15 year-old would. Not failing by any means, just a lot of follow-up and nagging to turn in assignments, etc. Ugh. I feel for them both right now.
BUT – tonight, as I videod in via FaceTime to say goodnight – he was happy. 100% on an Algebra test. Man that was so cool to see him light up like that! He can do it – he’s a smart guy. I hate how things are and how they have had to learn like this. It hurts to see – it is lonely for them, I know.
But that was so awesome to see him so happy like that. Elyce turned the corner in October, I think Gavin is doing it now. They are adapting – Dad is happy.
We’ll get through this! Damn it – we must. We will.
Categories: Coronavirus Plague of 2020, kids, school
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Elyce … driving.
So I have been taking Elyce out for driving lessons every Saturday recently. With the whole shut-downing of things since COVID came about, it put a wrench in our plans to sign her up and take driving lessons with a 3rd party. That was the plan. Things, obviously, have changed.
So we go out in my car every Saturday for an hour or so. We started in a parking lot – where I just had her NOT using the accelerator and getting a feel for braking/coasting/turning. Then we went to parking and maneuvering around a parking lot (empty casino lot – shut down due to The Rona). Then driving around being-built neighborhoods in the area (empty streets) … to “drive me to Lowes”. Yesterday, she drove on the main street here in town – 55 mph. Umph.
Her ‘driving school’ started today, finally. But it is all on-line. “Virtual”. Friday she gets her permit and will start her 100 hour driving log to eventually get her license.
I’m happy. I’m sad. Here we are at another crossroads of parenting that kind of makes me sad. Reminds me of when I took her to her first day of school so many years back. I didn’t think being a dad would make me sad when we hit milestones like this. You always see other parents so happy when their kids grow up and move on. Really proud and happy to see both Elyce and Gavin growing, learning. I just wish this lasted a lot longer – that somehow time could just chill a bit.
Twenty years ago, fatherhood was something very far from what I wanted. Today – it’s just time I treasure.
2020 – Year of the Mask
Who knew that in 2020 we’d be seeing Old Navy spotlight masks for sale …
I think the thing that is really sad for me to see when I’m out and about is seeing little girls wearing masks – kids, for that matter. I don’t know … just seems like such a sad thing to see. Still hard to accept that this is what it has come to.
Categories: consumerism, Coronavirus Plague of 2020, kids
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Device … RIP
So we went to Purgatory ski resort in Durango, CO for Spring Break this week. Just got back last night. The kids are exhausted, which is good.
The first time snowboarding for anyone can be brutal, and their experience was no different. Actually ended in tears for both. Seeing so many whoosh by on their board or on skis is deflating for the first-timer, as one has little context: you don’t realize or understand that those ‘whooshers’ have been up a few times. No one really masters the skill the first time. You spend most of your time getting up from falls.
That clarity came to point on this trip as, even though I hadn’t been on my board for about ten years(!), I only fell a couple of times. My pain was fairly limited to my ankles and knees only – and just a small amount. It’s the repeated falls and getting back up that really makes it painful in the end.
But I lost out on my equipment on the trip. My old Device boots (step-in snowboard boots) finally died. On my 4th run of the day, the back section of my left boot (which holds the bolt which locks into my bindings) ripped off of my boot. I was able to keep the front of my foot in the bindings and hobble my way down about 100 yards. Then, my right one ripped off! I was stuck but was fortunate enough to be near a lift and was able to take the ‘gondola of shame’ back down to the base.
The boots had some sentimental value to me – these were the boots (bindings, and board) that I purchased in Santa Fe years ago when I first started (and experienced the pain that Elyce and Gavin had this trip). What was funny was that at the start of the day, when we were getting dressed to hit the mountain, a kid came by and saw my board and said “whoah – retro! How awesome!”
After lunch with Tina and the kids and $40 later, I had a new set of boots and a board (rental) to finish out the day. But my boots stayed behind as we left Purgatory. But I’m keeping the board!
Stay Classy, Ms Evans
This is disgusting. Just sayin’.
Algorithms for the Cube?
I don’t know – I may be over-astonished by this, but Gavin walked out of his room Friday night with this in his hand.
I was a little taken aback. Tina was like ‘oh yeah, he did that earlier today, too.’
Gavin was home all day Friday, in bed. Was sick. You know, everyone’s freaking out about the flu that is going around. Thursday night he was coughing and had a fever. Friday morning it was determined that he should remain in bed. Apparently, he had the cube in his bed and since he wasn’t able to use his computer his mind went to solving. And there you go.
Pretty Legit Weekend
It has been about 5 months now since we started our journey of moving into a new home. 5 months ago (ish) we started the process of looking. Then the offer, then getting our old home ready for market, etc. It was pretty tough, overall. More mental than physical, really. Things have settled down now.
Yesterday the internet was down in the house. It was weird as we all migrated closer together and hung out for the day … we were playing ping pong together as the evening came.
I will admit, I didn’t really try to spend much time trying to figure out the internet issue. Pretty confident there were issues in the area, but it could of been just the cable modem or router. Oh well – didn’t matter really.
Breakfast of Champions
Gavin came home this week from school a little disappointed. Apparently he missed national rankings with his Shuttle Run exercise by 1/2 a second. Below is his multi-step action plan to overcome this gap …
Happy Halloween
As a dad, I’m starting to get a little sad now on Halloween. It is because I know that my kids’ days of Trick-or-Treating is nearing an end. Still have a few more years left with Gavin, but Elyce is already getting too cool for it. This is really my favorite time of the year, so it’s getting me a little sad as I think about it.
As a kid, I loved Halloween: The candy, the dressing up, the going out in the neighborhood for the night and seeing friends. When I got older, I got up to no good: stupid stuff as I reflect, but it was fun at the time (shaving cream fights, parties, etc). In college, it was a reason to drink and act like a dick (sorry for the vulgarity, but that truly is what we acted like with too much beer in our tummies).
And then, kids.
It has been kind of like starting the cycle again — I’m more a part of it than I thought parents would be. I mean, I loved watching them get into it and helping them get dressed, carving the pumpkin, and sharing the excitement of getting as much candy as possible. But I feel like that window is closing and I am becoming more reflective as I age, wondering what it will be like when they are ‘too cool’ for Halloween.
Ah – I need to stop that train of thought. Carpe Diem! Have a great Halloween if you’ve bothered to read this far. Here’s a great GIF to give you a laugh (it’s a midget in the GIF, by the way) …
Site Update … Ugh!
So – I decided to purchase an SSD Drive for both Gavin’s and My computer. Installation on Gavin’s beast was fairly quick (game conversions, mostly). Mine has been another story. One takes for granted all the software and setup used over a 2 year period. What turned out to be a weekend project of ‘switching drives’ has turned in to a full-blown rebuild.
In the meantime, I have 3 video projects (our Spring Break Trip to CA, a recent work-related paint-ball fight, and some archives of old cam footage of the kids) in limbo on my old hard-drive. I will get to it, but I have to get this SSD fully set.
In the meantime … 2 pics of the kids below on July 4 while shopping.
A Build for Elyce
Gavin and I spent the morning building Elyce her new computer … He doesn’t look very thrilled here, because he is beginning to understand that this computer may actually be as fast as his own. He is EXTREMELY competitive (not sure where he gets that from), and wants to have the fastest computer in the house.
Been wanting to do this for a couple of years now – build a computer with Gavin. After the day was through, he seems to understand the different parts that we worked with today: motherboard, RAM, Power Supplies, and Video Cards. Next time we build, I will work with him on selecting parts and watch him put together. Can’t wait for that.
Elyce’s computer specs:
– Intel Core i5-4670 3.4GHz
– ASROCK Z87-EXTREME4 ATX LGA 11 Mboard
– 8 gigs of RAM (Meh …)
– ASUS GTX760 Video Card
Christmas Morning Time-Lapse
I’ll Never Get Used to This
“Mr and Mrs Foxley” … ugh.
Finally … Pierced Ears
Elyce finally got her ears pierced in celebration of her upcoming 10th Birthday.
RIP Daisy
So today, about two weeks after Elyce brought home both “Daisy” and “Luigi” from school (from a science class) as pets, Daisy died. Elyce buried her in the back near a tree. Even though I missed the service, I did tell Elyce (she was pretty upset) that Daisy had a pretty good life: Impressive Digs (I’ll probably post a pic of the aquarium later on this weekend) and a very caring owner. Hell, if I was a frog with the setup Daisy had, I’d feel pretty lucky.
It looks like we’ll be waiting until this coming weekend to find a replacement companion for Luigi … apparently, these frogs are ‘social creatures’ and tend to live longer when not alone.
The things you learn as a parent …
Elyce’s First Slumber Party
So Elyce spent the night at a friend’s house last night … first time. We were a little anxious to get that 11pm call, but it never came.
Student of the Semester – Repeat
Gavin got Student of the Semester for the Fall Semester – second one in a row. He was ecstatic, as you can see at the ceremony at school the other night. I guess academic domination skips generations, thankfully.
Happy Meele.
So in the chaos of everyone in the family making Christmas cookies today, we got hungry. Tina and I thought (in the spirit of holiday indulgence) to get some take-out at McDonalds – so I offered to drive up the road and grab some. I enlisted Gavin to help me – with the first task of taking everyone’s order. This is what I pulled into the McDonalds drive-thru with …
No Love for the Specs
So Gavin had an eye-test at school that didn’t go so well; consequentially, we had him re-tested at a local doc’s. Looks like he will have to wear glasses for a little while. Here he is trying on some diplay specs … Looks real happy, huh?
I’ll take the Basket with Wheels
The kids are getting to the age now where when I am getting ready to, say, go to the hardware store – they no longer scream “yeah!” when I ask if they want to go along with me. They are getting bored easily with such trips. This is getting to me – as, as dorky as it sounds, it is always fun to have someone to join me while running these errands. I guess this is just them growing up, but it bums me out sometimes.
Yesterday I asked the question to Gavin while getting ready to hit the neighborhood Lowe’s … and he said ‘sure’. When we got there, I found they had just started offering handbaskets with wheels (kind of like rolling luggage) – which Gavin enjoyed carting around the store while I threw items that we needed into the basket.
I guess at this point I’m just grasping onto anything I can to make the trips fun for either Gavin or Elyce … I’ll take the wheeled baskets for now.
Cabbage-Master Elyce
Elyce’s entry into the Bonnie Plant’s annual 3rd Grader Cabbage Contest
Last year, while in 3rd grade, Elyce received a seedling to grow a cabbage plant. 1 winner from each state is selected for a $1,000 prize in scholarship money.
It is due tomorrow, so wish her luck!
Not a Big Fan of Hobos
So, for some reason, Gavin really does not like the prospect of becoming or having similarities of “hobos”. We don’t know where he established this fear, but … we are learning to use it to our advantage.
“Gavin, it’s time to take a bath”
“But I don’t want to!”
“Do you want to smell like a hobo?”
running to bathroom ….
♦
“Gavin, put away your clean clothes” pointing to the freshly folded piles.
“But I don’t want to.”
“Take care of your clothes, Gavin – otherwise, you’ll end up like a hobo with only 1 pair to wear”
scurrying to grab the clothes ….
Elyce’s Craft Place – Now Open
Elyce opened her craft store on Etsy today to sell some of her wares …
That’s What He’ll Do About It, Punk
An inspiring story of a father doing what good dads do best …
Little Einstein
Elyce found this book in my office today. After I saw her eyeing it, I told her I’d give her $100 Cash if she read it in its entirety – it weighs in at 528 pages.
As of tonight, she’s on page 6.